


Birds fly

by Of_all_the_stars



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Good Older Sibling Dick Grayson, Hurt/Comfort, Listen Damian deserves to be happy and if DC won't give it to me I will write it myself, mentioned animal cruelty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26802136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_all_the_stars/pseuds/Of_all_the_stars
Summary: It was- It was stupid. Damian knew this. He really did. But finding that dead chicken during patrol, just carelessly tossed away as if it had been nothing, in the corner of some shady alley... it just hurt a lot and he didn't know why.Or: Damian gets reminded of some old trauma from his time in the League of Assassins and Dick comforts him.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne
Kudos: 51





	Birds fly

It was- It was stupid. Damian knew this. He really did. But finding that dead chicken -it's neck broken- during patrol, just carelessly tossed away as if it had been nothing, in the corner of some shady alley... it just hurt a lot and he didn't know why. _It was just another part of the horrors of Gotham. Nothing to make a big deal about._ So, he didn't tell Grayson, who didn't appear to have seen it in the first place, and if he did he hadn't paid it much mind. For the remainder of patrol he kept himself distracted, forcing himself not to think about it. It worked even, for he was in a better mood again when he came back home. Everything crashed however, when he had one last look at his animals before he went to sleep, and the image of Jerry sleeping peacefully suddenly reminded him again of that one dead chicken. So here he was, forcing back a sudden wave of emotion. _Al Ghuls don't feel emotions_ , Grandfather's voice sounded in his head. A lesson that had been taught costly. _A lesson that didn't apply anymore_ , he reminded himself, in a voice not much unlike Grayson's. It was hard to unlearn. Still, he allowed himself to feel at least a small bit of the storm of emotions within him. Without thinking he picked up Jerry and hugged him close to his chest. Jerry clucked confused. _No, he didn't. Chickens, no_ birds _didn't feel emotions._ They wouldn't -couldn't- love you, not really. There was no sense getting attached. Damian let out a laugh that was dangerously close to a sob. Of course he knew why the dead chicken had affected him. He just had thought he was over it, he should have been on all accounts. His eyes involuntarily got wetter.

* * *

He had been seven. The League of Assassins had a small chicken coop just so the al Ghuls could have their own eggs, as they couldn't exactly go to a supermarket to buy them. And although he knew he shouldn't go there, he still did from time to time. He loved watching the little birds scuffle around, throwing around dirt in search for food. Sometimes he even snuck in food himself that he sneakily threw to the chickens. He loved how beautiful they were too. They were majestic little creatures with a gorgeously coloured black and brown coat of feathers, that had a copper undertone. And although Damian would never admit it, he had one favourite. She was easily recognisable -not that he needed something like that, he had been trained to notice even the smallest details after all- as her colours fell a little flatter than the other chicken's, but she was really sweet. And when he was absolutely sure nobody was around to see him, he snuck into the coop and held her. When you first picked her up she was always a little fussy, but once she was properly held she calmed down and even let herself be petted. Damian always marveled at how soft her feathers were, and how many details they had once you had a look up close. He didn't really give her a name, as grandfather always told him naming something meant giving it importance -which was also why none of his assassins had names- and something being of importance to you meant it being a weakness as well.

Instead he just referred to her as 'the brown one', which admittedly didn't really do her justice, or sometimes simply 'she' or 'her'.

Looking back, he supposed he hadn't been careful enough though. At some point someone must have seen him gone in and told Grandfather about it. Because the next time he thought everyone to be gone and tried to sneak in, he was there. All around him lay the bodies of dead chickens. Damian barely stifled a gasp and tried to discern _her_ in the massacre. When he found her, he froze in fear. There she was, in Grandfather's arms. He couldn't know right? He couldn't, he had been so careful! But reality quickly sunk in as Grandfather began to speak. 'Ibn. I hear you have been... paying visits to the coop. That you may have formed... attachments.' At the last part he gave _her_ a shake that caused her to squake in a fear not unlike Damian's. 'So tell me _Ibn_ , is this true?' Damian knew there was just one correct answer. So, obediently he answered 'No, Grandfather.'

It hadn't been enough. Of course it hadn't. He had been forced to watch as she was killed in front of his eyes. And despite all the death he had already seen, had already _caused_ , this one hurt the most. Of course, he got punished too for forming attachments. And not matter how heartbroken he was, he had to take it all without showing a single emotion. He had long since learned his lesson.

* * *

He was brought back from his memories by Jerry softly nudging his hands. He must no longer want to be held then. Damian let him go. It was only then that he noticed that there were actual tears on his cheeks. Angrily he wiped them. That had been years ago. He was 13 now. He was older and more mature, and he shouldn't be affected by _stupid_ things like just another dead animal rotting in the hell that was Gotham City.

A knock on the door. Great. So not only had he managed to cry like a _baby_ , he had also managed to attract someone else's attention. 'Go away,' he bit out. He didn't even care to see who it was. Alas, the person at the door did not go away. 'Dami?' a soft voice called. 'Are you in here? I thought I heard something.' Grayson then. That was... unfortunate. If it had been Father or Pennyworth he could probably manage to convince them to leave him alone, but from experience he knew that wouldn't work on Grayson once he was worried about someone, which from the sound of it, he was. 'Does it matter? You're gonna come in anyway,' Damian sighed out. Grayson took it for what it was, came in and sat across him. 'Are you okay? I noticed you weren't in your bed so I went to look for you.' Only then did he seem to notice Damian's red stained eyes. 'Oh no, Dami, what's wrong? Is this about that dead chicken?' So he had seen it. 'I know, I hate it too. But sadly, that's Gotham for you. There's not much we can do about it,' he continued. Like Damian didn't know that. 'Its.. it's not that, not really' Damian admitted. 'You wouldn't get it. You've never had much with animals anyway.' _You probably don't even_ care _about this anyway_ , he wants to add, but keeps it to himself. That wouldn't be fair. 'I literally lived in a circus for years Damian,' Grayson replies. 'But yeah, I may not entirely get it, or maybe not at all. But what I do know is that you are incredibly important to me, so of course I will listen to you if you want to talk, even if it's about something I really "didn't care for", okay? I just want you to be happy.' When he's done speaking he holds his arms out for a hug, but doesn't force it. Damian considers it. _Caring is a weakness_ , _it will just get you hurt._ But... he wasn't with the League anymore. He was allowed to care for things, allowed to care for other people. He wouldn't be hurt for it. Grandfather was far away, and couldn't get to him anymore. He was fine. He was _safe_. Damian stepped into the hug and softly began to cry. ‘Hey, you’re okay. I’ve got you. Let it all out. I’m here.’ Words of comfort began to blend together, until Damian stopped crying and his heart felt a little less heavy. ‘Better?’ Grayson asked with a small smile. ‘I’m so proud of you okay? And I want you to feel safe. I will never turn you down if you need me. And hey, if it means that much to you, how about we go back tomorrow and give the chicken a proper burial?’ 

After letting all his emotions out, Damian suddenly felt tired. He didn’t want to leave though, so he just nestled closer to Grayson and nodded. Yes, that would be acceptable. No longer being able to keep his eyes open, he simply closes them, knowing his brother will keep him safe. He vaguely notices a kiss being pressed to his hair, before he falls asleep, feeling warm and loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen... Damian may have had a really shitty childhood, but he is still 13. He has emotions. And sometimes those emotions are sadness and grief and he needs to be comforted and this is very valid. 
> 
> Also, RIP Brownie, I'll really miss you. I don't believe in animal heaven, but if it is real I hope you are very happy and with your sisters. You deserve it.  
> (For the record: she wasn't killed, she got sick and died)


End file.
